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First of all, I would like to thank  Lady Java and Grey Ang for helping me out in setting this blog. Without them, this wouldn’t be possible. Sorry I missed this out in earlier post.

Have you guys ever wondered, there are certain things in this world, might seem good but when you come to think of it, it is not really as good as it seems? Confusing? Let me list down several things in to look at.

Great Sales

Watch out, shopaholic! We often saw many sales going around us. Newspaper, television, internet etc. When we encountered those discounted items, we will go gaga and said “OMG, SO DAMN CHEAP!! LET’S BUY”. We end up thinking we had saved a lot but think again. To me, the equations are simple.

No sales = buy few

Got sales = buy more

Eh, where got save like that? Especially during sales, most guys’ wallets will be thoroughly raped by their partners and possible not even a speck of dust remains. There goes the credit card bill as well.

Any Over Friendly Gestures From Guys to Girls

In this over friendly gestures, I don’t mean a guy and girl hanging out and talking like best friends since they knew each other long enough. If you see all over Facebook, I think it is a pretty common sight that a pretty girl feels sad, some random guy comes to show concern and even offer hugs and the list goes on.

Obviously, this wouldn’t mean much to girls and said the guy meant to be caring and senstive. Trust me, how many of them ACTUALLY offer the same sympathetic hugs and concern towards GUYS? And ask them why they don’t do it, they might say it sounds or looks gay.

See? This means that to that particular guy, a simple hug or concern or shoulder offering, usually meant more than just friend. This is what I would refer as hidden flirtation. If anyone approach them and say this, they would simply use the easy way out by saying “Just showing concern for a friend”.

When Girls Say “It’s Ok”

I guess this is common. Normally “It’s ok” means:

I expect you to b a freaking psychic and know yourself it is NOT OK.

Mostly Whatever Advertised To You

This one, well, just see for yourself.

Image credit from www.funzo.com

That’s all for me. Hope you enjoy this post.

Efficiency Is Very Subjective.


Hello all. I’m back. Finally I have some free time to blog. So I would just blog about efficiency in our country. As we can see, Malaysians can be very efficient to the extend that the leaders of our country praises us for being so efficient. We are so good with out time management, we even set our own “Malaysian Time” because others just couldn’t keep up with us. We are so far advance that we do not need fast internet connection or optic fibre connection  to get connected to the world. We only need an over-priced snail speed connection to do so. Why? Coz we are moving too fast and we need something to slow us down so we can keep up with the world.


Why do I say we are very efficient? Easy. Coz our Prime Minister say so la…. I bet most of you know about the Datuk Sosilawati murder case right? And that murder case was cracked in a short period of time while at the same time solving a few other “murder” and “disappearance” cases. Am I right? Our beloved PM was all praises for the efficiency our police force shows. He was saying this and I quote,


“This success (of the police) is very encouraging. I congratulate the police force for having acted fast.”

I seriously laugh out when I read another article regarding how police found another 20 remains at Sungai Panchau. AM I THE ONLY ONE? Am I the only one who see this matter as the police FAILED to solved 20 plus murders before this? Am I the only one that think that the police can only solve this matter after 20 PLUS CRIMES that had been committed and yet this is call EFFICIENT?

I learned 2 things from this incident.

1. If you are not rich and famous in Malaysia, the police would not even bother to solve your case and just pile them up.

2. Efficiency is very subjective to everyone. And if this is the pace of them solving crimes and murders? I would say it is equivalent to old people having sex. Slow and unprofessional.

Another thing is our dear TM Streamyx which we all worshipped. Please take a look at how efficient the workers can be.


Wahh…got so many customers also can play facebook? Also can chat on facebook? Damn efficient weii…That’s all from me. Please leave a comment saying how you feel about this?

The Healthiest Lifestyle?


I’ve been wondering what’s the best lifestyle of all? Heart attack had been Malaysia’s top murderer and how to prevent it? May be this will be a good way. Read on with full seriousness please!

I love this Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy ?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Eat and drink what you like.Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
From now on, I’m not gonna speak english anymore. Wish me luck in dieting!! XD

One Night At Jalan Bukit Bintang


Been so busy with my work and didn’t have much time to blog. So may be to keep my blog alive, I’ll post some random emails and jokes that I recieved all this while. I had tonnes of good ones and I felt it is a shame to keep it to myself. So here’s an ADULT JOKE for you guys. Strictly no minors please.

One Night At Jalan Bukit Bintang

Picture courtesy from (http://mywilayah.files.wordpress.com)

A Sikh man is walking along Jalan Bukit Bintang, in Kuala Lumpur one night and a very gorgeous girl catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation with her, and quickly discovers that she is one of those “exclusive” ladies-of-the- trade.
“How much do you charge?”, asks Gurdial Singh
 Mary replies, “It starts at 500 ringgit for a hand-job.”

 Gurdial says, “500 ringgit for a hand-job?   No hand-job is worth that kind of money!”

 With a saucy flick of her eyelashes, Mary says, “Do you see that Mary Restaurant on the corner?”


“Do you see the next Mary’s about another block further down?”


“And beyond that, do you see the third Mary’s, just by the side of the old Cathay cinema?”


“Well,” says Mary, smiling invitingly, “I own those.

 And, I own them because I give a hand-job that’s worth 500 ringgit.”

 Gurdial then exclaims, “What the hell?   You only live once.    I’ll give it a try.”

 They retire to the nearby Marriott Hotel.  

 A short time later, Mr Gurdial Singh is sitting on the bed realising that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of 500 ringgit.  

 He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow-job is 1,000 ringgit?”

 Mary replies, “RM1,500.”

“I wouldn’t pay that for a blow-job!”

Mary then says, while signalling Gurdial to come closer to her.

 “Come closer to this window, big boy.  Do you see that bank just across the junction to Jalan Sultan Ismail?    

 I own that bank outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that’s worth every sen of 1,500 ringgit !”

 And poor Gurdial, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off his intended new mobile phone and says, “Give it to me !!!”  

 Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.

 Mr Singh can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money’s worth.

He decides to dip into what else he may have left with him for one more glorious and unforgettable experience.

 He then asks Mary, “How much for some pussy?”

 Mary replies, “Come over here to this other window, I want to show you something.  

 Do you see how the whole city of Kuala Lumpur  is laid out before us ….. all those beautiful lights, banks …. corporate offices ….. business houses ….. and big-&-small shops and places?”

 “Wowwww!!” Gurdial shouts out in awe, “You own the whole city ??”

“No,” Mary replies, “but I would if I had a pussy
Do you guys get the joke? XD



I guess some of you readers are fully aware that I said before I have a father who regularly sends me emails of all kinds of stuffs. From inspirational quotes to some na…*ehem”…ked*ehem* pictures. So I got this piece of comic strip which is funny right from the beginning to the end. I mean, usually comic strip have a certain build-up from the beginning before it comes down to being funny at all. So here’s a short post for your reading pleasure and to lightened up your week ahead.



Now, you know why sometimes people yell “Oh God” while having sex. Ok, I admit that all the cartoons doesn’t link actually bit it is funny as hell to put it in order that way. LOL

Facebook Relationship Status


In case any of you guys are confuse, I’m referring to the info in Facebook where you select whether you are single or in a relationship etc. And in case you are frowning to the fact that I’m stating the obvious, I’m taught not to make any assumptions because there a re a lot more retards in the world than you think.
So, declaring your status on your Facebook can sometimes be more amusing than you think. I admit that whenever someone changes their status on Facebook, I’ll be looking at it to make sure my assumptions are correct. And yes, I’m too free and had nothing else better to do on Facebook.

Ever-changing Status
Sure you guys have certain friends who kept changing their relationship status almost as often as they eat. One minute they are in a relationship, another minute it is complicated and then the next minute single. Finally they change back to in a relationship. And then, back to complicated and followed up by single. Then back again. Ok, you know what I mean right? It’s the same bloody cycle and it never stays permanent. I am not sure whether any of you think this way, but this shows that you are actually telling the whole world that you are having an argument.
Then every single of your friend will be shocked and kept commenting and offering words of comfort for a “break up” you know wouldn’t last long. As the cycle continues, you will realize not much people will care because they just brushes it off as a normal tantrum you throw. I know this serves a purpose of letting your boyfriend/girlfriend to know that you are very serious about it which unfortunately mostly just a piece of act. It comes to the time where friends no longer care and some might even label you as an attention seeker which you might be.

The “Like” Story
Probably the funniest thing I ever observed regarding this matter is the people who “Like”. For example, a girl went on to change her relationship status to “In A Relationship”, you can see many people will come over to congratulate and people of all sexes came over to “Like” the status. But when the girl changes from “In A Relationship” to “Single”, many come over to ask why and showing concern and there are people who “Like” it too. However, I bet majority of the people who “Like” the status of the girl are GUYS. What does this tells us?
When a guy changes to “In A Relationship” status, many people came over to “Like” and congratulate the guy. When the guy changes back to “Single”, and what happens? Yeah, rarely anyone comes to like especially girls. Unless you are a fucking good looking guy with tonned body, if not then I won’t see that happening and this is the time when even your size of your private part doesn’t matters. What does this tell us?
This just simply tell us that there are a lot of wolves in Facebook trying to stalk a girl especially if you are a hot one. Girls are much more sympathetic towards a broken hearted person which is why you don’t see many of them liking all this stuff unless the ex is one hell of a rubbish.

Your Status Determines Your Value
I know many people would not admit to this. But internet had proved to be a very good enhancer for one’s flirting skills. This shows why so many people tends to flirt online and there are many online relationship. I even have a friend who used to date a girl in Singapore for 2 years while he’s in Kuala Lumpur. Xiaxue is a good example as well and I bet there are many bloggers who found their other half through internet. This explains why there are certain people who do not want to change their “Single” relationship while they already in a relationship. They are waiting for bigger fish in the sea.
Apparently there are people who think that their value eventually drops when they set their status relationship online. I knew several girls who think and unfortunately one of them is my ex as well. And then guys will randomly add these girls as well. Don’t you agree? There are random people who will just add you and then come over to wall and “get to know you”? I do not know what’s wrong with girls who kept saying how perverted guys are and by doing this, they are actually wanting these “perverts” to take notice of them. And it’s even funnier when there are very few people who take notice them. Ok, somehow I’m telling about how’s my love is last time.
I absolutely agree that Facebook had done a great deal in bringing people closer and long distance relationship possible. Despite security and privacy issues, I still thinks that it brings more good than bad. Most important, it brings entertainment to my life and I don’t mean the games of having your own restaurant, farm, mafia, toilet, whore house or whatever. I think you guys get what i mean. So happy Facebook-ing people. Signing off.

God. I Love Facebook. Pictures courtesy from FAILBOOK.

My Own Definition of VIP


You go to a function or an event, no matter what, you still need to wait for the VIP to arrive, do this, do that, say this, say that, before the event officially kicks off. VIP usually means Very Important People/Person but honestly no one gives a damn except our higher ups who wanted to squeeze something from them. So I just came out with this statement which I think accurately describes VIP.


VIP is a Very Insignificant Phrase used to refer to some Very Inconsiderate People who think they are actually Very Important People and unfortunately most of them are Very Insensitive Pussies although they hold Valuable Intimidating Power.

Allow me to explain if some of you do not agree with what I just post.

Very Insignificant Phrase

No matter how we label them, most of us don’t give a shit who are they and their existence in an event hold very little significance for majority of the crowd.

Very Inconsiderate People

They often arrives late and the event and food cannot start without them. Never consider how hungry and anxious we are while having the balls to come late.

Very Important People

Need me explain? They thought toilet cleaners not important. Imagine a world with dirty toilets or imagine our public toilets and I don’t mean those in big shopping malls.

Very Insensitive Pussies

When there is a fire in the building, who will be escorted out first? Them or you kids? Bunch of pussies

Valuable Intimidating Power

It’s because of the valuable power they possessed, people are scared shit of them.

Tired of writing long posts. Going for some short posts for now. XD Oh yeah. At first I was planning to upload Caroline‘s picture trying to act cute with her Sailormoon hairstyle, but since she featured me in her blog, I shall forgive this Cabbit for now. =P

Funny Moments During My CNY


I had always look forward to Chinese New Year my whole life. For what? For the Ang Pows, for the gambling and for the food. It was a fun celebration for me but it had never been filled with humors worth sharing to the public. However, in this year’s Chinese New Year, things got a little bit different and a whole lot better. Most probably that me and my sister are apart from the family for such a long time and everyone tends to loosen up and have fun. And I would like to say the highlights of my Chinese New Year this year is all the funny moments.

1. Temple
I went over to pay respect to my late grandfather which is something I did not do in a while. When I went over there, my siblings spotted this.

DAMN TERRER (the word some people use to describe awesomeness) WAN LE…….DON’T PLAY PLAY…Probably the fortune teller can even predict the exact time you shit and pee. Terrer or not? Scared already right?

2. I’m not Google
This comes to a point of annoyance when my mother keep thinking I’m Google. Actually not only her, my friends do as well. These are the several examples.

Coming to a new area
Friend: Eh, Eric. What’s nice to eat here?
Me: How the fuck I’ll know? This is my first time being here and you drive out more often then I do.
Friend: Do you think this shop sells nice food.

Talking about a new basketball shoe
Friend: The new shoe damn nice la.
Me: Is it? Never seen it yet.
Friend: How much they sell here?
Me: How the fuck I know? I didn’t even seen that shoe before.
Friend: Oh ok. Do you think the shop have it now?

Searching For A Place
Friend: Eh, Do you know how to go there?
Me: No, I don’t. I thought you suppose to know? You are the one bring me out.
Friend: Yeah, I know. I forgot where is it. Do you think the place should turn right or go straight.
Me:What the fuck man……. =_____=

And what my mom did during the last holiday? This.
Mom: Eh, come here quickly.
Me: Huh? What?
Mom: How do u make calls with this phone.
Me: Huh? Whose phone is it? Never see before also?
Mom: Your dad’s. He got it last week.
Me: Look, mom. I just came back from johor and this is the first time I see this phone. How should I know?
Mom: I ask you how to call la. You talk so much for what. Press what to call?
Me: ……..
Yeah, I had to explore the phone before telling her how to call. I think she overestimated her son’s knowledge.

3. The Joke of The Year
Remembered I post a blog post regarding on the crazy things my parents said? Well here it is again. I love my parents and after hearing these conversation from them. I simply love them more.

Me: I think he look a bit sissy.
Mom: What sissy? Didn’t you see him place his hand in his trousers to scratch his penis?
Me: What? Sissy don’t feel itchy wan meh?
Mom: Yeah la.
Dad: You sure that’s a penis?

There are a few others that my parents said simply priceless but I don’t think I should share them around here. With my father’s cool personality around us, you definitely wouldn’t expect that from him.

That’s all for now. This is just a short post but I hope it entertains you guys. How’s your CNY turns out? XD

Crazy Things Parents Say


Had it occur to you before that your parents say something to you and you wish they didn’t or simply just digging a hole and hide yourself from the world? I bet each and everyone of you had this experience before. If you wanna know more about these sort of stuff, I suggest you visit this SITE for further enjoyable read regarding the crazy things parents say.

Right here, I’m gonna talk about my parents. Don’t get me wrong, we have a good relationship together and this post is not to humiliate them or whatsoever. But the things they said sometimes are just too darn hilarious and I think I should blog about it. I am born in a middle-class Chinese family with one very very extremely volatile mom and my dad, is definitely one of the world most realist person ever.

My Mom

I wonder what’s wrong with mothers at times. Treating us like small kids when we are already grown up. It’s kinda annoying at times and my mom did that for most of the time. It is true that I might not be good enough to take care of myself but at least I’m mature enough to make correct judgment or even DRIVE long distance? I remember the time we were in Taiwan, she would just practically pushes us around like small kids. Not gonna elaborate on that but what’s the craziest thing she said before? Tonnes of them but I’m gonna list out 2.

When I was hospitalized for dengue fever during Form 6, a hot nurse came in to take my temperature.

Mom: What’s his temperature?
Nurse: 37 degrees Celcius (looking at the thermometer)
Nurse: ……(got shocked and stunned by the sudden agitation)
Me: Er…Mom, it is normal….
Nurse: Erm…Auntie…37 is normal temperature for human..(giggling and trying very very hard not to laugh out loud)
Mom: Oh. Is it? Ok..

Needless to say, I’m praying hard for that hot nurse not to come to my room ever again and i wanted to go back home and hide. BADLY.

In the car with my Mom and Dad. We were on the way back from Kelana Jaya at night and we stuck in a rare nighttime traffic jam.

Dad: Why suddenly traffic so jam wan.
Mom: Is like that wan during this hour. Sure a lot of cars. Everytime also like that.
Dad: You drive here before meh?
Mom: No. But I know la.
Dad: ….

For your information, my mom never been out to that place before around that time besides that particular time. Let’s just say she won’t go out at night at all. I am rolling my eyes in the back seat and giggling at the same time.

My Dad

Sometimes, I really salute my dad for his pieces of advice. Most of them are priceless in terms of practicality and also entertainment value. Despite having a very cool nature, my dad is actually quite open. He sent me dirty jokes through email and also beautiful quotes of life. He also send me this kind of stuff once awhile.

But only pictures and funny ones la…. Seems like I have such a cool dad then does that mean he won’t voice out several crazy things once awhile? The answer is NO. These are several examples.

Mom: Shouldn’t let her(my grandmother) eat all these things. Not healthy.
Dad: Haiya let her be la. Eat only la. You think how old is she now. Not many years left to eat.

Mean? Cruel? I don’t think it is that way. My dad is just a realist. He is not cursing my grandmother and that doesn’t mean he do not love her. He spend a lot of things on her generously and without any single complain.

Dad: (telling to me) You think you guys study hard for my future? It is for your future and your children’s future. You think I NEED all your money and stuff? How many more years I had left? So it doesn’t matter to me if you do well in the future or not. It matters to you yourself and your children.

Crazy but yet so true. By the way, he’s only 55 and that makes it really weird to hear all this from him. Moreover, he looks like late 40’s rather than 55 and have higher level of stamina than me. FML.


When we grow up, have our own children, please do not doubt a single moment that you will one day spew out something that made your kids laugh their ass off. We often took pleasure in laughing at what our parents have to say sometimes to the extend, we neglected the fact that we made the same mistakes as well. Sometimes, I spew out rubbish unconsciously and my peers have a good laugh about it. But will it make a bigger impact if our parents say the same thing?

Things would definitely be different due to the different status we had in a family. That’s why we often hear teenagers say that how much they hate their parents and how embarrass they are of their parents. We might despise and look down on these teenagers but when you are once their age, don’t some of you feel the same way? As we mature, we began to better understand the nature of our parents and this lead us to realize how foolish we once are.

But things aren’t as simple as it seems. The understanding does not stop there. Even sometimes, I hear adults talking bad about their parents. Saying how stubborn they are at times and how difficult it is to deal with them. It is true that parents are kind of stubborn at times due to their vast experience of life, they think none of their kids will know better. But at the same time, the children might think their parents are old fashioned, conservative and inexperience towards the current world they live in. So, who’s actually the stubborn one? It has to be both.

Humans especially family members should learn from each other regardless of age, sex or status. Sometimes the inability to learn how to communicate with your parents and children, would lead you to have weird thoughts. That’s the reason why the website “Crazy Things Parents Say” exists. Sometimes we might misunderstand the intention of our parents to act friendly towards us by saying something stupid to attract out attention. Sometimes, the parents are too shy to ask their young ones and hence made up their own conclusion. If there is a website call “Crazy Things My Kids Say” specially dedicated to the parents to read, they would have equally good laugh too.

I think that’s it for now. Didn’t realize the post got so long. So leave a comment on your thoughts and may be what’s the craziest things your parents said? Signing off. PLEASE CLICK MY ADS TOO. It is not funny that almost a year passed that my amount didn’t even reach RM50 yet. FML =____=

How To Avoid Police Roadblock


As we drove down the road half drunk or speeding at 160km/h down the road hoping to catch the Manchester United match or some kinky fun with your wife/husband, then somehow out of nowhere those police will just appear to slap you with a big piece of “Ba Qua”(BBQ PORK). The time where each and everyone of us will automatically yelled “FUCK” in our heart. To make things worse, they can’t seem to bring themselves to go “minum kopi” with you.

Don’t you guys wish that these “committed” officers will just give you the break and let you go? Honestly, most of the time they won’t will leave you with your money intact. This is because when they never go catch these people, you all curse and scold them for being lazy and when they catch you then you curse them why so cold hearted and so hardworking for what. Malaysians are so hard to please.

Let me get to the point. How do you guys wish to avoid them finding fault with you? I had heard of this guy being completely genius in coming out with excuse. he forgot to bring his license and then he met a roadblock. How do he avoid it from being caught? When the police ask him to roll down the window, this is what happen.

A: Eh, Bang sini pun ada roadblock kah? Hari tu sana apa macam?
Police: Ok la….Macam biasadan tak banyak problem. Semua berjalan macam biasa
A: Oh, Macam itu kah? Bagus la. You orang memang rajin la. Kalau macam ini tiap-tiap kali, mesti jalan pun syok. Eh, bang, saya kerja masa la. Boleh bagi saya jalan dulu tak?
Police: Ok ok. Boleh, jalanlah.

That’s it. He get away clean even though he did not even know which bloody roadblock he is talking about. This site is not teaching you guys how to avoid them but is just what happens to a friend of my friend. My friend was in that car and he laughed like shit after that ordeal because he almost scared till he almost shat himself while approaching the police.

So what other ways it could be? Flash your boobs? Although this could only be done by women and I certainly don’t mind being traffic police once awhile.

Or you could follow the footsteps of this guy.

Let the pro show you how it’s done.


Pure genius, pure fucking genius. Anyone dare to stop him in the middle of the night?

About The Blogger

I'm a digital marketeer, visual story teller and designer who is determined to live my life to the fullest.

Instagram – @ericleeh

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