It’s definitely the year of superhero. There too many superheroes flooding the cinema right now, we are in desperate need of new superheroes. Therefore, the demand for actual working superhero is at all time high. Ok, this opening line is lame. However, we still need a superhero. Some hero that is conveniently be mutated with another living creature to save the world! Here is what I came up with.
YES! COWMAN!! WHY HAVEN’T DC OR MARVEL THOUGHT OF IT YET! This superhero would definitely be the bomb if given the opportunity! It’s already a proven fact that this superhero is going to be a huge success. One of it is because cow’s poop is practically one of the most lethal shit in the world. I’m serious! Their shits are so lethal, you should actually rethink using the term bullshit in labeling things. For example, you can’t call a person spouting lies as a bullshitter. That’s an insult! You should call a truly awesome person that like if he save a damsel in distress while smashing up the balls of 100 villains.
If that’s not what impress you, let me present you the superpowers of the Cowman! MOVE OVER BATMAN or WHATEVR-MAN! Cowman is going to throw in some awesome bullshit!
Do you know that a cow’s nose is so DARN GOOD AND AWESOME, it could smell up to 6 miles away! Who the hell needs spidey sense or some cheapo torchlight to shone up the sky to notify if there’s a crime? COWMAN CAN SNIFF CRIME FROM SO FAR AWAY THAT IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY! Unless if there is a bad case of food poisoning and diarrhea going on.
STALK LIKE NEVER STALK BEFORE WITH COWMAN! I mean SPY LIKE NEVER SPY BEFORE! A cow have an incredible vision of almost 360 degrees panoramic view that would enable you to spy on someone while looking at another side! How awesome is that! No one will know you are looking or spying! Seriously a great ability to have for stalk– I mean spying.
Who need knife or gun when I can go at super speed and RAM my freaking horn up their ass! Truly a kick ass weapon I must say.
If all fails, MILK BEAM would do the job! No, I’m not going to reveal where the milk beam is coming from.
In the nutshell, Cowman is awesome and ought to be the best superhero of all. If you disagree, I would show you awesomeness of my bullshitness. I am freaking serious.
Ok. Let’s just forget whatever I blog here.