It has always been a fact that I’m always being misunderstood. I’ve been misunderstood by people from all walks of life in my whole life and what’s first appear to be annoyance turn out to be something I’m proud of. My outlook had projected so many types of stereotypes that I don’t even belong to and some of them even said they don’t judge a book by its cover. I’ve never met anyone that had been more often being misunderstood than myself. Therefore, this post should dedicate to myself and also to enlighten my fellow readers with a bit of comedy of my life.
1.Serious and cool
I think the most misunderstood part of me is that I’m a serious and cool person from the first sight. A BIG NO for you people who had a single thought of that. I can be as wacky, crazy, joker, and outgoing person as u dare me to be. I’ve made tonnes of sarcastic jokes, comments, insults and also not to mention unlimited supply of pranks and punch lines that people would not believe i made them when they first met me. My dumbshits include insulting a “gangster” sarcastically openly in a class while everyone is looking, cutting up a sanitary pad for fun(it was given free at school, curiosity took over and a friend of mine threw it from 4th floor to ground floor in front of the discipline teacher), threwing firecrackers into a house way past midnight, playing with school fire extinguishers, scratching ppl’s car and many more which i shall not reveal for now….I’m a prankster, joker, insulter or whatever thatn links me up with sarcasm…
2.Malay, Gangster, VCD seller, bla bla bla bla
Seriously I’m always mistaken as a Malay when i used to work in Fajar…My fucking nametag was there and people smehow did not bother to look at it before start speaking to me… My name is written Lee Huangshi and not Mohd Lee bin something something…I admit i was dark that time and my fluency of BM was not of the normal Chinese Ah Bengs…That doesn’t mean I’m Malay..8 out of 10 Chinese customers will speak to me in BM without much hesitation and being a playful nature myself, I replied back to them in BM…When I brought their shoes over to the counter, I spoke to them in Cantonese and the look on their face…PRICELESS…Imagine how shock they were spending half an hour speaking totally broken BM with countless long stops in between words, asking me countless times do I understand them, USING HAND SIGNALS to convey their message and I remembered one deliberately ask her daughter to communicate with me which end up the daughter shoot her back by saying I’m a chinese and why the heck need to converse in BM….
I remembered some of my tuition friends and Form 6 friends thought I was some kind of problem child, gangster, otai or whatever u called it within the first glance….They do not dare to approach me and even curious why their friend which is my good friend also…be able to mix so well with me…Apparently they too became my good friends hahahahahaha
Once a police look at my driver’s license and IC then…
Police A : Ini…..tak pernah buat apa-apa salah kan?
Me : Huh? Tak ( In my heart yelling WTF!! CB!! )
Police A : Oooo…Photo dalam lesen handsome sangat la.. hahaha
Me : *forcing a sarcastic smile*……..(I’m a master of sarcasm and I knew a sarcasm when I heard one)
After i came out of prison(it’s a joke just in case someone really thought so), THIS IS how i currently look like….gained some weight, change the bloody hairstyle, shaved….most importantly.. I SMILED XD hahahaha
DVD sellers…Although I did not dye my hair blonde like most of the DVD Ah Bengs did nor carry a porch bags(I didn’t do it that time…not now)……I was browsing through DVD and customer do approach me to request for the titles…There was once…PORN…That uncle came over to ask…”nice ah this one? how much?”….
I seriously do not think how the hell that we can detect a smoker just by outlook….We see people in suits smoking, Ah Beng smoking, Nerd smoking and the list goes on….How the fuck people find it hard to believe I don’t smoke? I do not carry a lighter or a ciggarette box, my lips are fine red…There was once a Malay girl came into my store request me for a lighter which I told her the truth I don’t have one…She got stunned and ask if i smokes which i replied no….I SERIOUSLY NOT BULLSHITTING that she STARED at me without saying ANYTHING for the next 10 seconds….I too was stunned by her action and she only LEAVE when i assure to her AGAIN that I don’t smoke..I am sure I do not have a problem saying I don’t smoke…The expression she made as though I just told her I’m her mother or some shit…
4.I can’t speak English or I can’t speak Mandarin or Cantonese
When I speak to people in English, they thought I’m pure banana…FYI, I am only a half-breed banana…I can bloody understand when u are insulting me in mandarin and especially cantonese(incidents happen at Fajar again)….People who i start conversing with mandarin from the beginning i met them, having a hard to time to accept that I could speak fluently in English(you know who you are and i know you are reading this but u r not the only one haha)…
5.I’m not a pro in English or Mandarin either…
Just because i happens to speak Mandarin but that doesn’t mean I could read them…My boss’s daughters( 8 and 9 years old respectively ) ask ME, the fucking half-breed banana to test their MANDARIN skills…I was like wtf…I couldn’t even recognize more than 20 Chinese characters and how the fuck am I going to teach them..I told them countless time that I do not know and they took quite a long time accepting it…Cute girls though….Same goes for people who do not believe i just started speaking less than 2 years…
And just because I could write long essays, that doesn’t mean I’m a fucking walking dictionary..Don’t shocked when I do not know the word that you dunno…I’m only human and i guess since u can not know it then why i can’t be the same? My English is not as good as many thought I am even my family members =.=… Just slightly above average…I can only speak decent enough to differentiate me from normal Ah Bengs…It’s already hilarious enough that I somehow dunno how look like one, I do not need my language to be like one too…T.T
That’s all from me..Hope you guys enjoyed it…Not much picture to post coz lazy to upload with such a slow internet connection…lol